My name is Dan Covfefe and I should be the person everyone is talking about right now. I should be the hit of the country—nay, the world– right now. But I’m not. And I blame you.
It all started with a tweet from Donald Trump.
I saw the tweet almost instantly after it was posted and my heart started racing. The president called me by name. What serendipity. I had always known I was destined to do something great, something magnificent, and this was it. After a few seconds of careful thought I fired back the reply that, I thought, would propel me into the global spotlight.
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