The horniest moments of 2019

The horniest moments of 2019

Being horny is a political statement now.

We’re not joking, either. In 2019, public displays of thirst became not only more widely socially acceptable, but also an act of empowerment in the wake of #MeToo. As Soraya Roberts so succinctly put it in a Longreads essay, “Out of the wreckage of male toxicity, [women] used thirst to mark the men who remained worthy.”

There’s no shame in thirsting — when it’s channeled in respectful ways. So here’s a list of the 2019 moments when folks were respectfully, painfully left parched from lust.

Sara Lee Bread gets horny on main (on SNL)

Saturday Night Live might be increasingly culturally irrelevant, but they got one thing right this year: Harry Styles has left a devastating drought in the wake of his Fine Line tour. Read more…

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This delightfully catchy song proves 2019 wasn’t a total bummer

This delightfully catchy song proves 2019 wasn't a total bummer

2019 definitely had its downs, but it’s important to remember that the year had some real ups, too.

In the words of actor, musician, and comedian Tom McGovern, “it’s easy to dwell on the bad stuff that happened this year.” What’s not easy, however, is taking some of the year’s best good news headlines and turning them into a hilariously catchy tune.

As 2020 approaches, McGovern — who you may recognize as the dude who played both Jim Halpert and Andy Bernard in The Office! A Musical Parody — did just that.

While you attempt to unwind from another ridiculously chaotic year, please enjoy the this refreshing song about some of 2019’s milestone achievements — from same-sex marriage being legalized around the world and a “sweet-ass train” being built in the UK, to a new royal baby, Greta Thunberg’s existence, and more. Read more…

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Everything we think Apple will release in 2020

Everything we think Apple will release in 2020

One of Apple’s great virtues is its predictability. The company’s annual routine hasn’t changed all that much in the last five years or so, meaning fans can plan their purchases (and journalists can plan their coverage) weeks or months in advance, even without knowing every specific detail about every announcement.

As such, we have a decent idea of what to expect from Apple in the new year, even if we haven’t seen the fine print yet. We’ll almost certainly get some combination of new iPhones, iPads, Macbooks, and Apple Watches this year, and we can even map out when we’ll probably hear about all these things. Read more…

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Thousands told to jump into the ocean as Australia’s raging fires approached

Thousands told to jump into the ocean as Australia's raging fires approached

The sun didn’t rise on New Year’s Eve. The summer morning in a small beach town on the east coast of Australia looked like a winter’s night. 

That black sky soon gave way to a blazing, eery orange as the flames approached. At least 4,000 people were told to jump into the ocean. Gas cylinders could be heard popping like fireworks as they exploded. 

The town of Mallacoota looked apocalyptic on Tuesday local time as it became the latest victim of Australia’s out-of-control bushfires.

It was too late to evacuate. 

“We are one road in, one road out. That road’s been blocked for hours and hours and hours,” Francesca Winterson from Mallacoota Community Radio told News Breakfast, a national TV broadcast.  Read more…

More about Australia, Bushfires, Science, and Climate Environment

New Lyft and Uber rules to know for New Year’s Day

New Lyft and Uber rules to know for New Year's Day

Happy New Year! Now pay up. 

That’s what it feels like with new fees, regulations, and taxes kicking in on Jan. 1 (on Wednesday) for ride-share trips on apps like Uber and Lyft. 

In California, there’s a lot to take in. A statewide change to gig job classifications, called AB5, goes into effect as soon as it’s officially 2020. 

That means on-demand drivers for apps like Lyft and Uber can argue they should be treated like employees with better pay and benefits, not like independent contractors. Lyft and Uber don’t plan to change anything yet with how it hires, pays, and employs drivers, claiming its drivers are truly independent workers who don’t need to be reclassified.  Read more…

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Tana Mongeau opens up about her marriage with Jake Paul

Tana Mongeau opens up about her marriage with Jake Paul

Nearly six months after her very public wedding to controversial YouTuber Jake Paul, Tana Mongeau opened up about how her relationships have affected her mental health.  

In a vlog posted on Sunday, Mongeau told her followers that she should have been single after her relationship with Brad Sousa ended poorly in April. Discussing her “really fucked up dating history,” she also acknowledged the correlation between growing up with absent parents and her tendency to jump into relationships. And although her relationship with Jake Paul started out well, she said she was so infatuated, she ignored “any” red flags before their Vegas wedding.  Read more…

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