Hello, friends. I am here to a) ruin your innocent, childlike entertainment and b) reveal the truth about the secret sexuality of Nintendo’s popular, “kid-friendly” game that recently released on Switch, Splatoon 2.
To those with less perverse minds (or — ahem — those less well-versed in Freudian symbolism), you might not have picked up on the undercurrent of sexuality embedded in Splatoon. Hear me out.
(Warning: NSFW content ahead)
This particular video game stars creatures known as Inklings, AKA squid-people with flopping, suctioning tentacles for hair. Their primary objective it to territorially splat ink all over the damn place, shooting their colorful discharge from various shapes and sizes of guns. As if that wasn’t enough, these Inklings can also turn into sperm-like sea creatures who swim and luxuriate in their own mess of goo. Read more…
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