Chris Pratt is not the Mario we need right now, but he’s apparently the one we deserve

Alongside a raft of other news, Nintendo used its Directs event on Thursday to announce the voice cast for the Super Mario animated movie literally nobody asked for, and it’s-a… weird.

Now let’s be fair, here: Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong is perfect.

But Chris Pratt as Mario?

Chris Pratt. As Mario.

Chris PRATT! As Mario.

The lovable Parks and Rec schlub turned permanently-grimy, fully posable action figure is a deeply weird choice to voice the plucky plumber. It suggests Nintendo and studio Universal might be hoping to ape the unexpected success and energy of The Lego Movie, in which Pratt voiced the everyman lead. (The script is also by Matthew Fogel, who wrote that film’s less-delightful sequel.)

It’s such a weird choice specifically because it feels like a cynical joke: Oh yeah, of course they would cast the Least Beloved Hollywood Chris as Mario. Total Hollywood move to hire the generically strapping guy from the Jurassic Park reboots as this pint-size tradesman.

So much so, in fact, that people did actually make this joke back in 2020.

Even though Mario was revealed in 2020 to be canonically Japanese, not Italian (yes, really) Pratt’s non-Italianness was a sticking point for some.

It’s worth noting that the late great Bob Hoskins, who played the plucky plumber in the soon-to-be-retconned-as-beloved 1993 live-action adaptation, is also neither Italian or Japanese, but that likely had no bearing on why the film was a critical and commercial flop. (Charlie Day, who’s playing Mario’s brother Luigi, does have one Italian grandparent, according to his IMDb bio. Representation!)

The film’s official title has not yet been confirmed, but it’s due in cinemas Dec. 21, 2022.

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