Amazon to classify pelvic medical devices as ‘sex toys,’ for some reason

Amazon will begin labeling some medical devices like pelvic floor wands as “sex toys” and “adult content” on Nov. 15, according to a message sent to sellers.

These products — wands, kegel weights, and more — are used by pelvic pain patients in order to feel some symptom relief. Like foam rollers, they’re basically physical therapy tools. Yet, by marking them as sex toys, they’ll only be searchable on Amazon within the adult content section.

“The upcoming changes in Amazon’s classification of medical tools as adult products is harmful to consumers,” said Amanda Olson, founder of pelvic health brand Intimate Rose.

“Forcing people with sensitive pelvic health issues to scroll and search through provocative adult images of other products [is] damaging and will create a barrier to their access to important healthcare tools.”

SEE ALSO:

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Olson said she’s tried to urge Amazon not to classify FDA-cleared devices as sex toys, but hasn’t been able to reach them. She started a petition to reverse Amazon’s decision, which has over 8,000 signatures at the time of publication.

The petition states that one in three may suffer from pelvic pain, but some estimates say one in two — and that includes all people, no matter their anatomy. Pelvic pain is extremely common, but given that it’s not often discussed, patients may not know where to turn for help.

Olson fears that people who’d benefit from these products won’t find them due to this change. She also worries that patients with a history of trauma will have to navigate graphic sex toy images in order to find therapeutic tools.

“We deserve the right to safely and conveniently locate medical devices without unnecessary exposure to sexually explicit products,” she wrote on the petition. “By grouping pelvic wands and kegel weights into the same category as sex toys, Amazon has taken a stand against the health of people with vaginas.”

Amazon hasn’t responded to Mashable’s request for comment, but given that there’s two weeks until this categorization goes into effect, there’s still time to stop it.

Ladies and gentlemen, the viral Twitter account of ‘SNL’ hosts introducing musical guests

Saturday Night Live hosts introducing the musical guest have been repurposed into quick memes on Twitter.

The biggest example of this is Daniel Craig introducing The Weeknd, which Twitter co opted to celebrate the start of the literal weekend. Even Craig himself loves it — at least when his Twitter-less self was finally made aware by a New York Times reporter.

As with everything, social media loves to take an idea and run with it. The Daniel Craig meme inspired the Twitter account @snlhostinro, which surged in popularity to nearly 100,000 followers in only a couple months.

The account owner, who wished to remain anonymous, grew up watching SNL every week and gobbled up reruns on Comedy Central, too. They have a group of friends who did the same thing, and they’d occasionally reminisce about odd pairings of host and musical guest.

“I didn’t really think this would go beyond just four guys reminiscing,” @snlhostintro told Mashable, “but when I saw the popularity of the Daniel Craig/The Weeknd account, I realized there might be an appetite for something like this.”

They created the account in September, and went along posting one or two intros a day without many people noticing. Then, an especially outrageous clip tipped the scales: Actor Adrien Brody introducing Jamaican reggae musician Sean Paul:

The improvised stunt was so offensive that SNL head Lorne Michaels banned Brody from the show. The clip also catapulted @snlhostintro to virality.

“People really shared that one a lot, and I’m assuming it was to…avoid suffering alone?” mused @snlhostintro. They believe already having a backlog of 30 or so intros made people excited when they visited the account, because they can go down a wormhole.

“Would’ve been different if there had only been a few on there,” they said.

SEE ALSO:

‘Check your kids’ Halloween candy’ memes hilariously mocks hyped drug warnings

The account is also just in its infancy. There are so many SNL clips to pick from, and @snlhostintro hasn’t even touched episodes after 2005. So, while they post at a steady clip, there’s still plenty to come.

How do they choose what to post? One tactic they’ve begun using is researching celebrity birthdays to guide their choices. A recent example is late actor Peter Boyle, who had an October birthday, introducing singer Al Jarreau. Boyle called Jarreau “a valentine for your ears.”

“His daughter saw it and really appreciated it,” said @snlhostintro, “which was very nice to see.”

11 best tweets of the week, including Dwight Schrute, Chip Poncy, and Meta

Do you have your Halloween costume yet? I sure hope you do. Halloween is Sunday. Yes, freaking Sunday. It’s already here.

Side note: I went to get a pumpkin from the store and they were already sold out because I didn’t realize the month is almost over. Can you believe that? Out of pumpkins. What a shame.

Anyway, October is about to end and the work week is past us, baby. To celebrate the weekend we collected some good tweets because that’s what we do around here.

So here they are the 11 best tweets of the week. Enjoy.

1. One of many Meta jokes the internet came up with when Facebook rebranded

2. One more Meta joke for you

3. This is such a good idea

4. They earned it, to be honest

5. No thoughts just BING BONG

6. Raccoon in the store

7. Oh no, I am so much water, I am in danger

8. Yup, same bro

9. Obligatory dril tweet

10. Not to be a jerk but like…you definitely bought that from Target

11. And finally, this

10 porn set horror stories that double as life lessons

Contrary to its persistent popular reputation as a den of chaos and sin, the modern adult industry is actually shockingly calm and orderly. Most porn producers and crews take pains to follow industry standards of safety and professionalism, and any performer who sticks around for more than a few months puts in serious prep work for scenes. That’s why even the most seemingly wild and free-wheeling scenes often go off without a hitch: They’re really carefully choreographed.

But, as in any industry, things can go off the rails. Sometimes people cut corners, or exploit their colleagues or employees, creating the big, tawdry scandals that tabloids and moral crusaders love to fixate on. However, more often things just go awry in a best laid plans sort of way. And because porn involves writhing bodies, with all their squishy bits and fluids, when a shoot goes awry, things can get real wacky and eye-popping, real fast. Most performers have their fair share of stories of diarrheic anal and vomit-inducing blowjobs, which often sit on the edge of horrific and hilarious.

SEE ALSO:

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In the spirit of Spooky Season — and in memory of porn parody and comedy studio Wood Rocket’s short-lived Halloween traditionMashable asked 10 performers to share their top on-set horror stories with us. Some of their tales, presented below, are truly terrifying and downright disgusting, while others are just rather ridiculous. But most contain nuggets of wisdom that may help anyone, industry insider or civilian (sex inevitably goes off script for all of us at some point), avoid or navigate similar mishaps.

These interviews have been edited for length and clarity.

Kate Kennedy: I do standup comedy as well as porn. I got booked for a comedy show at 7 p.m. one evening, but then I also got booked for a short blowjob scene about 35 miles away, with a call time of noon. I was sure I had plenty of time to do the scene, get cleaned up, and make it to the show. But when I got to the set, I found out that the production crew was shooting multiple porn scenes that day and mine wouldn’t begin until 3 p.m. After an hour or so, I started to get antsy. I explained my situation — that I needed to leave by 5 p.m. at the latest — to the cast and crew. Luckily, another girl with an earlier scene was willing to trade spots with me, so I was able to begin my scene early, and it was going swimmingly despite the countdown clock in my head.

Then, when we’d almost finished the scene, something went wrong: I was on my back with my head hanging off a couch while this dude pounded the absolute fuck out of my throat. He pulled out, so I thought I had time to swallow the mouthful of spit I’d accumulated, and that I was now gagging on. But as I had my tongue at the back of my throat, ready to swallow, this dude slammed his cock back into my mouth, hitting my tongue from below. Boom. Blood everywhere.

The force had torn the frenulum that connected my tongue to the bottom of my mouth.

We called cut, and I frantically tried to stop the bleeding, but to no avail. So, I decided to finish the scene with my tongue held down and pressed up against my teeth to keep the blood from spilling out; my scene partner came in my face instead of in my mouth. Then, I cleaned up as fast as I could and drove to the comedy show with an ice cube under my tongue. I did an entire standup set that night with a very noticeable lisp. I mostly remember trying not to spray the audience with my tongue blood. But I still got laughs, and everything ended up being fine.

But that day, I realized I probably needed to keep my porn and comedy lives a bit more separate.

Nathan Bronson: I once did a 16-guy, three girl blowbang scene. During the scene, the three women would get covered with 50-60 bottles of whipped cream, bananas, and strawberries. I guess the idea was to make a giant banana split? So, they covered the floor with plastic. The problem being that whipped cream is oily, so the floor became more like an ice-skating rink than anything else. We had to hold some of the guys upright while the girls were working on them, just so they wouldn’t slip and slide. Thankfully, no one fell over. Until the very end, that is.

At the end, every guy needed to cum on the girls’ faces. I was the last one. From the camera’s perspective, you could only see their faces and a dick. But at one point, you can see them looking off camera, very worried. That’s because, while trying to cum, I slipped and did a flip. The director cut the scene and came to check on me; they were very concerned that they wouldn’t be able to finish the scene. But I got up, said that I could still finish, and went on to seal the deal.

Ela Darling: About halfway through a lesbian strap-on bondage scene, which I was shooting with a partner who was a dear friend, I started getting hot and sweaty — in all the wrong ways. My muscles began to ache, and I felt feverish. I was developing all the symptoms of the flu.

I should have bowed out of the scene then. But I knew the production costs would double if we had to cut and pick things up on a different day. So, I told myself that I was just feeling off because I skipped breakfast and needed water. I hydrated, had a snack, and tried to keep going.

For the next part of the shoot, my scene partner and I got on our knees, facing each other, and had our torsos tied together with intricate rope work. Our hands were above our heads, also tied up so that they could be attached to a hook suspended from the ceiling. But once the rope work was done and we were ready to start shooting, my vision got cloudy and filled with black spots, and I broke out in a cold sweat. I worried that I might pass out. So, I finally told the crew that I was feeling dizzy and sick, and they promptly untied our hands so I could get comfortable and rest before we continued — which I still fully intended to do at that point. But it wasn’t enough.

A production assistant barely made it to me with a trash can before I started vomiting, violently and repeatedly — while my entire torso was still facing and tied up against my scene partner’s.

This angel of a woman held my hair back as I leaned as far away from her as I could (which wasn’t far) and emptied the contents of my stomach into a bin held by a horrified production assistant. The director had no choice but to end the shoot early and pick up a few days later.

I was absolutely mortified. The lessons I learned: If you ever start to feel unwell during sex — or during anything, really — it’s better to listen to your body and call it a day than push yourself to the point of illness. Also, when you’re tied against another person and start vomiting, if their reaction is to hold your hair and try to make you feel better, that person is a friend for life.

Brandi Bae: I did a really rough bondage scene once — rougher than I was used to, but I didn’t complain. However, when the shoot was over, one of my breasts looked odd: It was hanging lower than the other, and seemed kind of deformed. So, I went to the doctor’s office and they took an x-ray. The doctor told me that one of my [breast implants] had popped and I needed immediate surgery. That ended up costing me $7,000 in breast reconstruction surgery. I stopped doing that kind of scene.

Kimber Haven: I did a scene where the lead-in had me coming down a spiral staircase, looking glamorous and sexy. I got seven stairs from the bottom — and ate it, rolling down the stairs. Hair sticking up in the air, feet in the air, looking anything but glamorous in front of the whole crew

I learned not to transverse spiral staircases in seven-inch heels.

But don’t avoid accidents, is my advice. They happen. So don’t spend time worrying about it. It’s part of what makes sex compelling and desirable, beyond how good it feels — an element of danger and adventure. Never knowing what’s going to happen makes it fun.

Know your partner’s limits. Discuss them, respect them, and there shouldn’t be any problems.

If you get some bumps and bruises along the way, then you know you had a good time.

Aria Khaide: Early in my career, I’d traveled to a different city for a shoot only to realize that I’d started spotting. I didn’t know how women in the industry navigated that time of the month, so I was like, Oh my gosh, do I need to cancel? I can’t cancel. I need to be professional!

However, instead of asking my industry friends what they do in this situation (because I didn’t want to seem unprepared, or to find out they’d just cancel their shoot and then have to do that myself), I asked my vanilla mom friends if they have sex with their partners when they’re bleeding and how they do it. They were all like, Oh it’s fine, just get one of those Diva Cups, put it in, and have sex. I’d never used one before, but I was like, Sure, okay! So, I went to the pharmacy, got one, and looked like a pubescent boy trying to put a condom on for the first time and smacking himself in the eye while I was trying to put it in, you know? But I got it in. (Editor’s note: Diva Cup recommends against using the product during penetrative sex.)

Porn sex is a lot rougher than most everyday partner sex, though — and I was booked for a crazy rough scene. The sex was uncomfortable, because of the cuff, but I took it like a champ while my scene partner was pounding away, thinking that no one would ever know I was bleeding and that w’’d still have a great scene. We got everything we needed, ended the scene, and I went to the bathroom on set to take a shower and get cleaned up. But I didn’t think to get into the shower before removing the cup. And because my scene partner had been pounding away, things had gotten pretty messy. So, I pulled it out and… suddenly this bathroom looked like a horror scene.

There were only white towels in the bathroom, so I’m grabbing tissues and paper towels and trying to clean everything up so it doesn’t look like I just killed someone. I’m thinking, Oh my gosh, I’m taking too long, they’re going to think something’s gone wrong. I was mortified.

But I got out of there alright. Later, I told a friend in the industry about this and asked her what she does when she’s bleeding. She said, “What the heck are you talking about with these cups? We all just insert a makeup sponge.” She also told me that guys in the industry are usually pretty chill and don’t get skeeved out by blood like a non-industry boyfriend might. So, the next time I was bleeding, I used a sponge and told my scene partner. He just said, “Don’t worry, we’ll put you in this position so the cameras won’t see any blood.” And it was all totally fine.

Serves me right for not just asking my friends with industry experience from the start.

Lucy Hart: I was cast as Batman in a BDSM scene. Catwoman had me on the floor, flat on my back, bound at my wrists and ankles and gagged. She was supposed to squirt on my face at the end of the scene. So, she stood over me, and I suddenly saw and felt a lot of liquid hit me fast; most of it went up my nose, blocking my breathing. I couldn’t clear it, with the way my head was tilted back. Then, the girl screamed, “Oh my God, did I get it on my costume!?” and ran off set. Whatever came out of her wasn’t the typical squirt. The director chased after her immediately to see if she was okay — leaving me drowning on the floor in whatever came out of her.

After what felt like a couple of minutes of wondering if I’d die dressed like Batman, I decided to just swallow whatever this fluid was, so that I might be able to breathe through the gag. It worked.

Someone came back to untie me eventually. I never asked what came out of her. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t pee. But I don’t think Batman needed to know. I got my money and left. Her costume was fine.

If someone is going to squirt on your face, consider your need to breathe first.

Misha Montana: I had a stroke this April, and was set for heart surgery a couple weeks later. I shot a post-stroke comeback scene in May, with Tommy Pistol, while wearing a heart monitor. At the end of the scene, Tommy accidentally came all over the heart monitor. A little while later, I got a report from my cardiologist that my heart activity was “unusual” on that day.

Tommy Pistol came on my broken heart. 

Carmela Clutch: Once, when I got on set for a boy-girl-girl scene, the other female talent asked if I knew the male talent, who was also the director for the shoot. I admitted that I hadn’t met him, but said that I was a big fan of his work. She said that he was “really freaky” and into some “nasty shit.” I didn’t realize the gravity of her words, so I laughed and said, “Whatever, I’m down for anything.” Then 15 minutes before the scene started, she downed a bag of kettle corn.

The scene started off seamless: I was giving this guy some of the best sloppy-toppy head that I’d ever given at that point in my career. Then, we switched off and the other woman went to work on him. She went deeper and deeper, throating his entire massive dick, until she eventually gagged and up came the entire party-sized bag of kettle corn that she’d pounded down earlier!

The guy, who was holding the camera, panned over to me, smiled, and said, “your turn, unless you want to cut.” I was eager to prove my sexual prowess, so I only hesitated for a millisecond before I decided to go for it. I was actually excited, but caught completely off guard.

See Also: Best sex toys for couples looking to switch things up between the sheets

That scene came out great. It’s one of my nastier fetish videos. But it was definitely one of the stand-out uh-oh on set moments of my career. The three of us still laugh about that moment.

Charlotte Stokely: I was filming the final scene of Terror Camp with Aidra Fox. We were both in a tent, and the director told us he’d toss a rock outside to signal us to run out, screaming in panic as a rope attached to the top of the tent flew it up into the air behind us. We practiced the scene, and it all went well. But instead of throwing a rock during the actual shoot, the director told his production assistant to sneak up behind the tent and shake it, Blair Witch-style.

The PA shook the tent and growled and I let out a deafening scream and ran out and away.

Damn, he got me so good. [Laughs.]

Keep reading

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  • How to watch VR porn: Everything you need to know

  • Can’t figure out what kind of porn to consume? This handy infographic can help.

  • What can — or should — we learn from porn?

  • A beginner’s guide to the best porn games: What to play and what you should know

17 terrifying creepypastas guaranteed to keep you up at night

The classic tradition of telling ghost stories ’round a campfire has undergone a digital upgrade with creepypastas — scary stories or images that spread across message boards, becoming internet lore that creep into discussions, both on and offline.

People around the word share their bizarre and terrifying creepypastas, hoping that the tales will gain popularity and become classics, quoted or cited by horror fans and terrified netizens.

Like with the ghost stories of old, not all creepypastas are particularly scary or very good, even if they are frequently passed around or popular. Reading a long story with an clever title or image is no guarantee of a frightening payoff, and the writers often forget that just having someone meeting a quick and unfortunate fate does not an interesting story make.

When a real gem of a creepypasta is found, it makes all the searching and scavenging worth it (at least until it’s time to fall asleep). So grab a friend, turn off the lights, and prepare to be scared to scroll any further — here are 17 of the scariest creepypastas to make your Halloween spoooooky.

Good luck sleeping tonight.

1. The Slender Man

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Before this pale, faceless ghoul had his own movie and video game series, he haunted the forums of the internet with his finely pressed suit and unnaturally long limbs. The Slender Man’s story is not a narrative one, but a pseudo-historical look at this monster’s history with humanity that is tied into several other creepypastas.

Typically, the Slender Man preys on children and those who become obsessed with his existence, though no one knows exactly what happens to the bodies since no one has ever escaped from an encounter with him. Suggested stories featuring the Slender Man include The Tall Man and the Marble Hornets videos.

In the real world, this creepypasta figure became a key figure during an assault and subsequent criminal case in 2014 involving three 12-year-old girls. Wisconsin teens Anissa Weier and Morgan Geyser, lured their friend, Payton Leutner, into the woods during a game of hide-and-seek. In an reported attempt to appease Slender Man, the duo stabbed Leutner 19 times and left her at the scene. Leutner managed to drag herself to a nearby road where a cyclist found her, and she was immediately taken to a hospital where she recovered from her injuries.

Soon after the attack, Weier and Geyser were arrested and tried for attempted second-degree murder. In 2017, Weier was sentenced to 25 years in a mental institution, while her accomplice Geyser was sentenced to 40 years in a mental hospital in 2018.

2. Candle Cove

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Everyone has a television show from their childhood that they fondly remember. Like those who nostalgically recall the adventures of Dora the Explorer, Mister Rogers, and Sesame Street, some adults rediscovered their favorite show from the 1970s, Candle Cove, on a television forum in this creepypasta. Slowly, their memories of the show grow darker and more disturbing until one of the adults asks his mother about the true nature of the show.

The forum format of the story adds a spooky realism to the tale, also making it easy to recreate and share on other boards. If you find this story particularly compelling, watch the first season of the Syfy original series Channel Zero, which is based off this creepypasta.

3. Robert the Doll

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Not for the faint of heart, Robert the Doll really exists. The myths surrounding him vary, especially since it became so popular on the internet. The doll was given to artist Robert Eugene Otto in the late 1800s or early 1900s by a servant working in his family home. The doll, which he named after himself, then took on a life of its own and began to terrorize the family.

Otto is said to have kept his doll into adulthood and it subsequently tormented his late wife to insanity. When the doll was found by another family, the girl to whom it was given was terrified of it and refused to have it in her room.

The doll is currently residing in the Fort East Martello Museum in Key West, Florida. Visitors must ask Robert politely if they want to take his photo. If they mock him or take his photo without permission, Robert is said to lay a curse on them.

4. Anasi’s Goatman Story

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Based on a Native American legend, this creepypasta was originally found on 4Chan’s paranormal board /x/, where some of the best creepypastas can be found.

The story follows a teenager who goes down to Alabama to be with his extended family. While he, his cousins, and their friends are camping out in the woods, they see a strange figure — the Goatman — jerking and spouting gibberish as it follows them. They spend the rest of the night in fear as the Goatman slowly infiltrates the group, terrorizing the teens into a frenzied state of paranoia.

This mix of pre-existing lore and new narrative is not rare for creepypastas, but it’s the strength of the writing that really makes this particular story worth sharing. There are variations of this story, but most follow a similar formula where a group is stalked by the titular monster with different outcomes.

5. The Russian Sleep Experiment

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A staple of best creepypasta lists everywhere, the title of this story itself carries with it a sense of dread and horror. Shortly after World War II, five political prisoners are subjected to an experiment in which they have to remain awake for 30 days in a tank filled with an experimental gas. As with most science-gone-wrong stories, the test subjects begin to lose their minds among a number of other gruesome symptoms. The horror does not end when the experimenters try to save their subjects — far from it.

Just know that this story may not be appropriate if you are squeamish or dislike gore, as the narrative goes into graphic detail about the physical state of the patients. Thankfully there are no pictures, or this would be the ultimate nightmare fuel.

6. Jeff the Killer

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If you’ve never laid eyes on the infamous image of Jeff the Killer before, consider yourself lucky. The basic story concerns Jeff, a serial killer who hides in the closet and whispers “go to sleep” to its victim before slaughtering everyone in the household. Even more disturbing than his M.O. is his appearance — his face is smooth and stark white, a huge grin and small lid-less eyes. He is one of the most easily recognizable creepypastas, with his eerie stare posted across forums.

His origin story involves a fight that resulted in a chemical burn on his face and caused him to suffer a mental break. Soon after, he murdered his family and disappeared into the night to make guest appearances in your nightmares.

7. BEN Drowned

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Hacked video games are often found in creepypastas, but none is more infamous than BEN Drowned, the story of Matt, a college-age boy who picks up a hacked cartridge of The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask at a garage sale.

As the boy plays, he captures the strange occurrences in the game and real life until it ultimately culminates into a full haunting. The narrator and BEN’s fates are left up to the reader’s imagination, but the tale implies that a happy ending is not in the realm of possibility.

This creepypasta is one of the few that integrate multiple types of media into the story. There is the text of the story itself — both a formal post version that went up on 4Chan’s /x/ forums in real time and a diary included on the final post — and videos of the disturbing gameplay under the YouTube channel Alex Hall (originally Jadusable). The footage includes a warped soundtrack, terrifying glitches, and a creepy statue that is supposed to be BEN following the player around.

While the story is clearly fictional, the level of dedication to creating this eerie story makes it worth the read.

8. Persuaded

Zombies definitely have a place in creepypastas, especially after having taken over the majority of pop culture. However, in the spirit of keeping readers on their toes, these zombies don’t need frenzied biting to increase their numbers, which elevates this tale above and beyond other zombie-inspired creepypastas.

After a massive oil spill, all those touched by the substance begin to viciously attack other creatures, causing mass panic across the country. The nameless protagonist holes himself up in his apartment, waiting for the screaming, violent horde to come crashing through his door and tear him limb from limb. If only that had actually happened, instead of the two day-long nightmare that really unfolds.

9. Smile Dog

If there’s any story on this list that best captures the message “be careful what you wish for,” Smile Dog is it. The creepypasta deals with an image posted on an old bulletin board system back in 1992 called smile.jpg. Those who saw the image either disappeared or died, save for one Mary E., who the narrator goes to interview. What he eventually learns is that some things, even simple pictures, are better left as mysteries than dealing with the horrifying truth.

In case you were wondering, the story does come with an accompanying image, but you may not want to see it after reading the full story. Though, in the end, you may not have a choice.

10. Annora Petrova

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This tale reminds us that it’s best not to Google yourself, no matter how tempting it may be. Annora Petrova was one of the most promising figure skaters in the United States, until she discovered a sentient Wikipedia page about her. After trying to selfishly alter her fate by editing the page, her life spirals out of control in the most unexpected ways, until she is a friendless orphan (which isn’t even the worst part).

While the Wikipedia page does not actually exist, it’s a harrowing tale about messing with the unknown forces of the internet. If you do check this story out, make sure you click on the image at the bottom of the email for an extra layer of spookiness.

11. NoEnd House

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Haunted houses are at the center of many famous scary narratives, and surviving the night in one earned teenagers instant respect. Still, is the potential trauma and death worth the admiration of people who you’ll likely never see again after graduation? This creepypasta answers with a firm and decisive “no.”

NoEnd House promises $500 to whomever can survive a trip through its nine rooms of torture, a challenge that our narrator David readily accepts. The rooms begin to grow increasingly sinister and evil, pushing the limits of David’s psyche and humanity. Are nine rooms really worth such a small monetary compensation that won’t even pay for one therapy session?

The Syfy series Channel Zero also covers this creepypasta in its second season if you want to add some visuals to this spooky story.

12. Psychosis

Can you really trust what you see and feel? Is your life all a computer simulation? Do we live in the Matrix? Are we all just people in someone’s else dream that is bound to end? Is this the real life, or is this just fantasy?

Existentialism may not be the scariest of philosophies, but Psychosis shows that proving human existence beyond innate fears and paranoia is an inner battle that can never be won.

John soon finds out that he’s been cut off from the rest of the world — his only communication with other people is through electronic devices. He quickly becomes paranoid and becomes convinced that everyone around him is lying, trying to get him to come outside his door so an unknown entity can get him. His logic tries to defy his gut feeling, but he falls further into the belief that something has gone horribly wrong outside, and it’s coming for him next.

13. Doors

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This creepypasta is popular for its Shyamalan-esque nature. The tale follows a family with a young male narrator who talks about their daily lives together.

One night, the household is attacked by a mysterious figure that our intrepid protagonist tries to chase out. Giving any more of the plot away would ruin the surprise, but this story proves that brevity can be an effective tool when used to properly horrifying and amaze.

14. Gateway of the Mind

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Ever wonder what would happen if you couldn’t see, hear, smell, taste, or touch? Well, this creepypasta is here to put that theory to the test in what is honestly the most terrifying science experiment.

The story centers around a group of scientists who wish to make contact with God, and they believe that this could be possible by removing the body of all five senses. After performing a complex sensory surgery on a test subject, the poor person is completely disoriented and begins to hallucinate and “hear” people who have passed away.

What happens at the end is extremely meta, but the grueling details involving the pure mental torture the subject goes through is enough to absolutely creep anyone out.

15. The Rake

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This monster may not be as famous as his cousin, Slender Man, but he sure is just as creepy. The Rake is a humanoid creature that is completely pale, hairless, and has a thirst for human flesh.

According to Know Your Meme, this creature was originally created in 4chan’s /b/ board where someone opened a “make your own monster” thread. The description that eventually became a part of The Rake was, “no apparent mouth, pale skin, six feet tall when standing, but usually crouches and walks on all fours, no nose, no mouth,” and many other disturbing physical features.

Eventually this creature played a central role in many creepypastas. Most of these stories primarily involve documented encounters with the monster, and more often than not, the person dealing with The Rake never makes it out alive.

16. Lavender Town Syndrome

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A classic video game creepypasta that hits a little too close to home for those of us who grew up playing the original Pokémon Red and Blue during the late ’90s. This creepypasta centers around the game Pokémon Green, which was only released in Japan in 1996.

According to the legend, rates of illness and suicide in children in Japan between the ages of 7-12 have reached a fever pitch. The common connection between all of them? They all played Pokémon Green and had reached an area known as Lavender Town whose theme music had extremely high pitches.

After conducting studies on this phenomenon that became known as “Lavender Town Syndrome,” scientists realized that there was a certain tone in the town’s music that only the ears of young children and teens could hear. This had essentially drove this demographic who played the game to insanity, causing them to have headaches, ear issues, and die from suicide.

While this sparked many theories and creepypastas surrounding Lavender Town and the original Pokémon games, this creepypasta is actually loosely based off a real-life incident involving a Pokémon episode that only aired in Japan in 1997.

During the airing of the 38th episode of the original Pokémon television series titled Electric Soldier Porygon, a scene that made use of extreme flashing images gave hundreds of children epileptic seizures.

17. The Expressionless

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In this creepypasta classic, a woman wearing a white gown that was covered in blood stumbled into a hospital in 1972. According to the nurse who is recounting this event, she said that this woman had the appearance of a mannequin, but was very much human-like in her movement and mannerisms.

After throwing a kitten she had clamped in her jaws on the ground, doctors and nurses rushed the woman into a hospital room for evaluation. Little does the hospital staff know that they have no idea who, or rather what, they’re dealing with.

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This story was originally published in 2013 and updated in 2018 and 2021.

With sexist jokes, Elon Musk’s tweets sink to a new low

Don’t understand why the tech industry is facing a reckoning over misogyny and harassment? Just look at Elon Musk’s tweets.

Take a huge sigh, like I just did, because the world’s richest man and maybe it’s first future trillionaire decided now would be a great time to make a joke on Twitter about boobs.

There was the time his tweets got him punished by both the SEC and the Tesla board, and the time his tweets got him sued for defamation (though he won that lawsuit). But in terms of grossness, these take the cake.

It’s just… bad. Basically, he made up an acronym that spells the word “tits.” Don’t worry, it gets worse in the thread. If you thought he was just, like, making an acronym joke — no, it’s a boobs joke.

“Lighten up,” you might say. “It’s just a joke!” Silly Elon!

Imagine if this man was your boss. What if he made this joke to you. It’s safe to say that would be grounds for an investigation, if not an outright firing. Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company need to say something. How is this man your leader?

As one of the leaders of the Apple Too movement, Cher Scarlett, points out, it’s no wonder there’s a toxic culture of sexism in tech.

That’s it. We’re done here. I need to go get this horrible taste out of my mouth, stat. Also, Grimes, wherever you are, I am so happy for you, girl.

UPDATE: Oct. 29, 2021, 9:03 p.m. EDT Later, Musk tweeted a non-apology that could be read as an admission that he messed up, or a sarcastic side step. Cool.

14 underappreciated movies you haven’t seen on HBOMax

The HBOMax catalogue is deep. Seriously deep. Deep enough to drown in, if humans could drown in movies. Luckily, we can’t. We can only watch them! Ain’t life fun! But before you open up the massive HBOMax library and faint from decision paralysis, take a breath. We’ve got you. And we know what you’re looking for.

You don’t need help picking a big blockbuster for a rewatch, you’re in the mood for a hidden gem. A diamond in the rough. A movie you can recommend to your friends, and they won’t go “Yeah, Carl, we all know you like Aquaman. Enough already.” These are the under-the-radar winners, the ones with smaller budgets, the foreign hits, or the ones that simply had abysmal marketing campaigns. Each makes for a pleasant surprise and a solid pick on movie night on HBO Max.

1. The Personal History of David Copperfield (2020)

Dev Patel stars in The Personal History of David Copperfield, and that should be all you need to know to be on board. But if for some reason you need more, this Victorian-era period piece based on Charles Dickens’ David Copperfield is surprisingly, and refreshingly, optimistic. Patel, in the titular role, sees his circumstances teeter from the aristocracy to the workhouse and back again, bearing it all with infectious good-heartedness. The eccentric and delightful cast of characters he meets along the way are a veritable Who’s Who list of Britain’s top working actors, with Peter Capaldi, Hugh Laurie, Tilda Swinton, Ben Whishaw, Benedict Wong, and Gwendoline Christie all clearly having tons of fun.

The buoyant script would be a feat on its own for any Dickens adaptation, but is particularly remarkable as it was written (and directed) by Armando Iannucci, best known for the wickedly nihilistic Veep. Copperfield could not feel like more of a departure from that world — and is a charming, engrossing balm for anyone looking to escape.

How to Watch: The Personal History of David Copperfield is streaming on HBOMax.

2. Princess Mononoke (1997)

One of Miyazaki's best films.

One of Miyazaki’s best films.
Credit: Dentsu/Ntv/Studio Ghibli/Kobal/Shutterstock

When you think of Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli, you probably think of Spirited Away or My Neighbor Totoro. But Miyazaki has been telling visually stunning stories for decades, and since almost all of his works are now streaming on HBOMax, it’s time to dive a little deeper into the Ghibli catalogue. Start with Princess Mononoke, the story of a leader determined to protect her lands from human consumption. Though she may align ideologically with Pocahontas???, Princess Mononoke is far more ruthless, stopping at nothing to defend her fantastical home. Caught in the middle of this fight is a young prince, Ashitaka, hoping to help both sides achieve peace before a demon’s curse eventually kills him.

Mononoke has all the markings of a Ghibli classic, wood spirits, gorgeous animation, ruminative landscapes, but boasts a more adult tone than many of Miyazaki’s other pieces. There is blood and war and pain in this whimsical world, and the story is more complex and engaging because of it. For an added treat, the script for the English dub was written by sci fi/fantasy legend Neil Gaiman, so you can watch the English version confident nothing is lost in translation.

How to Watch: Princess Mononoke is streaming on HBOMax.

3. Everything Is Copy (2016)

HBO Films’ Everything Is Copy is the best kind of love letter: one that’s effusive in its admiration of its subject, but also clear-eyed about her quirks and imperfections. Journalist Jacob Bernstein explores the life, career, and 2012 death of Nora Ephron — known to us as the writer and filmmaker behind such hit rom-coms as Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, and Julie & Julia, and to Bernstein as his mother.

Interviews with family members and famous friends (including Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, and Mike Nichols), along with archival interviews and excerpts from Ephron’s own work, paint a portrait of a brilliant and ambitious spirit who lived by the motto stated in the title: “Everything is copy,” meaning everything that happens in life can be fodder for a story later on. Though you wouldn’t mistake Bernstein’s documentary for a work by Ephron herself, the film’s warmth, candor, and humor make it a fitting tribute to the icon she was. – * Angie Han, Deputy Entertainment Editor

How to Watch: Everything Is Copy is streaming on HBOMax.

4. Au Revoir les Enfants (1987)

You’re about to be able to impress film snobs at parties. Au Revoir Les Enfants is a gorgeous and startling film about friendship, and one of the most respected movies in cinema history. Famed french filmmaker Louis Malle wrote, directed, and produced this autobiographical film about his childhood in Nazi-occupied France. The main character Julien, based on Malle himself, is a young student at a boarding school who discovers the headmaster is sheltering three Jewish boys among the student population. Julien forms a bond with one of the boys, Jean Bonnet, and the two navigate an increasingly dangerous world. Au Revoir Les Enfants is a WWII film without any battles. We are confined to the limited landscape of the boarding school and its surrounding town, yet the horrors of war are ever present. It is both subtle and deeply moving and will stick with you after viewing.

How to Watch: Au Revoir les Enfants is streaming on HBOMax.

5. The Grifters (1990)

Well, maybe you’ve seen The Grifters. It was somewhat big in 1990 — but that was forever ago. Seriously, that was 30 years ago, and you were probably 3 and too young to see Grifters, or you were an adult and by now have forgotten Grifters. So let’s jump back in to this zany, neo-noir crime thriller, shall we? Directed by Stephen Frears and produced by Martin Scorsese, Grifters follows successful, veteran con-artist Lilly (an absolutely hypnotic Angelica Huston) reconnecting with her estranged son (John Cusack), a small-time grifter living in Los Angeles. Lilly absolutely hates his current girlfriend (Annette Benning), herself a grifter as well, and the film quickly becomes a who-is-conning-who caper. Stylish, exciting, and somewhat twisted, The Grifters is a hidden gem — and the trashy, LA-in-the-90s wardrobe is iconic.

How to Watch: The Grifters is streaming on HBOMax.

6. City of God (2003)

City of God might come as a surprise here. The 2002 crime thriller from Brazilian directors Fernando Meirelles and Kátia Lund picked up plenty of accolades in its moment, though most would argue it was robbed at a 2004 Academy Awards ceremony that was pretty much swept by Peter Jackson’s final Lord of the Rings movie.

Regardless, the semi-autobiographical story adapted by Bráulio Mantovani from his own 1997 novel paints a grim picture of life in the Rio de Janeiro neighborhood of Cidade de Deus (“City of God”). Conceived as a government housing project in 1960 to stem the spread of favelas across the city, the neighborhood — which ultimately became a slum itself in the end — is a central character in this story about the formation and growth of organized crime and the local drug trade, as told from the perspective of a young man whose life was directly impacted by those influences. It’s as much a must-watch in 2021 as it was in 2002. * A.R.

How to Watch: City of God is streaming on HBOMax.

7. Time Bandits (1981)

If you remember Time Bandits then we are happy for you, for you truly know the meaning of joy. This insane and amazing fantasy, written by Monty Python-veterans Terry Gilliam and Michael Palin, is a one-of-a-kind adventure. Eleven-year-old Kevin is asleep in his bedroom when a man on horseback bursts out of his wardrobe and rides off into a forest that disappears behind him. The following night, five small bandits tumble out of the wardrobe and take Kevin on an adventure through history, stopping by the Napoleonic Wars, Ancient Greece, and even the Titanic. John Cleese, Sean Connery, Shelley Duvall, and Ian Holm sparkle as their historical counterparts, adding wit and gravitas to the whimsical plot. This is a film that needs to be seen to be believed — but once seen, it will quickly be beloved.

How to Watch: Time Bandits is streaming on HBOMax.

8. Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021)

If you've ever wanted to watch Angelina Jolie fight fire, this movie's for you.

If you’ve ever wanted to watch Angelina Jolie fight fire, this movie’s for you.
Credit: Emerson Miller

It’s a safe bet that you haven’t seen Those Who Wish Me Dead, because almost no one did. A June 2021 debut (a very hesitant time for moviegoers) and a rushed marketing campaign earned this Angelina Jolie-led thriller the honor of being the second-worst opening of all time for a film in more than 3,000 theaters. But don’t let that sway you. This exhilarating, and somewhat insane, movie is a propulsive 100 minutes of action and suspense against the most lethal backdrop of all — the wildfires of the American West. Jolie stars as Hannah, a veteran forest firefighter spending the summer in an isolated, Montana firewatch tower, trying to get her head right after the tragedies of the previous year’s fire season. Suddenly, she finds herself in a very different film, as her path crosses with a child being chased by a pair of assassins (Nicholas Hoult and Aidan Gillen), and she’s the only adult who can protect him. The human elements of the film are comically light in explanation and backstory, but that forces us to focus our fear on the true and ultimate threat here: an unforgiving wall of fire.

How to Watch: Those Who Wish Me Dead is streaming on HBOMax.

9. Brown Sugar (2002)

Brown Sugar follows a tried and true romantic comedy format — childhood friends who, as adults, have no idea they are obviously in love with each other. Take our money, please! Taye Diggs and Sanaa Lathan sparkle as a pair of friends bonded by the night they discovered hip hop together on an NYC street corner. They now both work for the music industry and have no idea they’re clearly perfect for one another — until a kiss the night before Diggs’ wedding sends them both reeling. In the 2000s, Brown Sugar was a huge hit in the Black community, but did not enjoy broader popularity. It’s time to right this terrible wrong. For a smart rom-com with heart, complex characters, and a plethora of fun hip hop cameos, Brown Sugar can’t be beat.

How to Watch: Brown Sugar is streaming on HBOMax.

10. 61* (2001)

This critically-loved sports drama (directed by Billy Crystal!) flew under the radar because it was made for HBO in 2001 — a time when TV movies were not as respected as their silver screen counterparts. However, 61* is just as riveting and affecting as any bigger-budget sports flick, if not more so. This is both the story of Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris attempting to break Babe Ruth’s home run record in 1961 and of an unlikely friendship. The charismatic, partying Mantle and the reserved, quiet Maris make for an unusual pair, with each Yankee earning different treatment from the press while the pressure of the season takes its toll. Led adeptly by Thomas Jane and Berry Pepper, 61* is a winning film in any year.

How to Watch: 61* is streaming on HBOMax.

11. The Normal Heart (2014)

Directed by Ryan Murphy, The Normal Heart is a searing, emotional drama that lacks the signature camp of most Murphy vehicles — and here, that’s a good thing. Adapted from the play of the same name, Heart follows Mark Ruffalo as Ned Weeks, an openly gay writer in the ‘80s who watches the growing HIV/AIDS crisis ravage his community. What sets The Normal Heart apart from other movies on the same topic is its intimacy. We witness the crisis through Ned’s eyes, as his friends, neighbors, and lovers are ripped from him. Ned visits hospitals, writes stories, and fights tirelessly with the help of Dr. Emma Brookner (Julia Roberts) to bring more attention and funds to the cause, only to be met with bigotry and silence. A strong and deeply charismatic supporting cast (Matt Bomer, Taylor Kitsch, Jim Parsons, Alfred Molina, Joe Mantello, Jonathan Groff) will make you fall in love, and then break your heart. Do not be intimidated: this is a film that will leave you feeling cleaved in two, but will also impart a quiet, warm optimism. A rare combination.

How to Watch: The Normal Heart is streaming on HBOMax.

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12. Shiva Baby (2021)

Worlds collide in this 2020 cringe comedy that’s been widely hailed by critics. When a Jewish college student (Rachel Sennott) dutifully attends a shiva alongside her parents, she’s prepared to field questions about her unimpressive job prospects and lack of a boyfriend. However, she’s not ready for her secret sugar daddy (Danny Deferrari) to show up, much less with his beautiful blonde wife (Dianna Agron) and their rosy-cheeked baby. Making matters even more fraught, her former best friend is slinging her serious side-eye. Something has got to give. In her remarkable debut feature, writer/director Emma Seligman creates laughs and suspense with an electrifying tapestry of observational humor, social awkwardness, jolting humiliation, and sexual tension. You’ve heard of feel-good comedies? Well, this is a feel-anxious-as-hell comedy, dragging us through each embarrassment with our harried heroine. And yet, we can’t recommend the experience highly enough. * Kristy Puchko, Entertainment Reporter

How to Watch: Shiva Baby is streaming on HBOMax.

13. The Changeling (2008)

For a meaty drama that hasn’t aged a day, look no further than Changeling, directed by Clint Eastwood and starring Angelina Jolie in an uncharacteristically delicate role. This poignant film tells the true story of Christine Collins, a woman in 1920s Los Angeles whose son has gone missing. When the LAPD announces they’ve found the boy, she claims they’ve brought back the wrong kid. Unfortunately, the LAPD disagrees. What follows is the heart-wrenching saga of a mother who will stop at nothing to get her son back, and the powerful forces conspiring to keep her quiet.

Changeling is absolutely astounding, in large part because the events that unfold — the gaslighting, sexism, and emotional abuse Collins endures — actually happened. Screenwriter J. Michael Straczynski meticulously included newspaper clippings and court documents with each scene of the screenplay. As a result, Changeling could legally be designated “a true story,” instead of “based on a true story” like so many other historical dramas. Stirring and unforgettable, with a magnetic performance from Jolie, Changeling is a must-watch whose themes still resonate today. *

How to Watch: The Changeling is streaming on HBO Max.

14. Tampopo (1985)

A treat of a movie

A treat of a movie
Credit: apic/Getty Images

A spirited spoof tipping its hat to the Spaghetti Western, this 1985 Japanese comedy was promoted as a “ramen Western.” Its central story is about a cowboy hat-wearing truck driver (Tsutomu Yamazaki), who comes across a humble ramen shop where the food is truly “terrible.” Damsel in distress Tampopo (Nobuko Miyamoto) begs this hardened hero to save her family’s business by teaching her to do right by ramen. So of course, he rounds up a posse to perfect her recipe. Full of physical comedy, giddy silliness, quirky characters, and charming performances, this film is a delectable delight. But writer/director Jûzô Itami brings even more to the table, spicing up this culinary tale with fantastical vignettes about the love of food. Though often ridiculous — and sometimes salacious — none of the laughs are lost in translation. But be warned: This funny film will make you hungry. The loving shots of ramen and the various speeches about its richness and wonders are ruthlessly mouth-watering. Maybe order dinner before digging in. * Kristy Puchko, Entertainment Reporter

How to Watch: Tampopo is streaming on HBO Max.

(*) denotes writeup comes from a previous Mashable list.

Dad creates impressive drive-in movie costume for his daughter that actually works

‘Tis the season of bigger and better Halloween decorations and costumes.

Last year, one extremely creative dad made his daughter the most horrifying costume of all: a Zoom meeting. This year, Greg Dietzenbach outdid himself with two next-level Halloween costumes for his children.

For his daughter he created a drive-in movie costume that projects clips from Dracula onto her face, genius! The drive-in movie set up is complete with miniature cars and a concession stand which covers up the projector.

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The concession stand is his 13-year-old daughter’s favorite part of the costume.

Dietzenbach couldn’t resist including the dad joke, “Drive-in me batty.”

His son has an equally high-tech costume, a trap disguised as a doormat. Yes, a functioning trap.

The trap reads “place candy here” and his son can control opening and closing the claw.

Dietzenbach wrote on his blog about his inspiration for the costume, “I thought ‘What would be one thing that someone would be shocked to see when they open their door?’ How about your doormat as a trap!”

In the past Dietzenbach has made a transforming sock robot costume and a front door costume. You can check out all his greatest hits here.

We wonder what innovative costumes Dietzenbach will come up with next year.